The Self Proclaimed Experts

Hello fellow Shitwetalkabout Nation!

I am back from holidays and I feel as refreshed as I’ve ever been. This post goes out to all of you who are SELF PROCLAIMED EXPERTS! You drive me nuts!

I had the fantastic privilege of taking a luxurious holiday at all inclusive resort for 2.34 days (destination to be kept a secret). While I was sipping on my strawberry dakerys and mango tangos,  I noticed a certain person who looked out of place at the resort. He was walking around with bright red shorts and a red ball cap. There was a distinct cockiness to his walk....er walz I should say. Needless to say, I found out by talking to the locals and people I was vacationing with that this dood was a "Trip Advisor Expert" (said with a echo like in the Spatula City commercials...if you get what I’m referencing, 15 points for you!). Naturally I ask, "What makes him an expert?". The response I received shot me to the bitter bone. It chilled my crow toe, it hurt my feelings and kicked me in the schmass while calling me sally! My companion said "Oh, he posts on the trip advisor blog alot....".

I was stunned! I couldn't believe it, here is a guy, who claims to be an expert and all he did was "Post on a blog a lot?". So I went to the site to go read his posts and things he says. I couldn’t believe how people took this guy’s word as if God was parting the Dead Sea again (which I must say is a pretty wicked awesome thing that happened back in the day). I mean, what makes this dood such an expert. The fact that he has red shorts (which he didn't change ONCE while he was out there), or was it because his tan was darker than mine (which also isn't that hard).

Anyhow, in this day and age, I come across more and more people who claim to be experts only because the prop themselves up. THEY are the ones claiming they are experts. Not other people, but themselves. This is fundamentally wrong on so many levels. I mean I can claim to be an expert at pooping in a toilet, because I POOP IN A TOILET! I don’t claim to be an expert because I post on a blog that I poop in the toilet…does that make sense? Do you get what I mean? It's so wrong man, wrong wrong wrong.

Anyhow, what I’m trying to say is, I just wish people would stop trying to be superstars and just be normal. Let others congratulate you and claim you are something instead of needing to do it yourself. We are all turning into narcissist! The self-proclaimed "EXPERT" status, is mearly a smokescreen which in the end reveals nothing.

Self proclaimed experts = dumb.

....and that's the shit!

Alan Hucklebin